A Visitor's Christmas in Australia
A tourist's guide to beaches, barbecues and beer on Xmas Day
Mar 9, 2007
In years gone by, Christmas on the beach in Australia has become almost an international institution. Just about everyone has heard the debaucherous tales of sitting on the beach with enough alcohol to destroy even the sturdiest liver, bellowing “Five Go-old Rings!” as loud as possible. Previous years have seen all-in sumo contests, gigantic congas, and nude carol singing, which have all been jolly good fun unless you’re a policeman or a lifeguard.
After all, one thing that isn’t quite as much fun is the amount of people who nearly drown. Lots of beer, combined with scorching sun, can go to people’s heads, and they think it’s a good idea to go for a leak with huge waves crashing over them and dangerous currents trying to take them to New Zealand. In 2003, on Christmas Day alone, 114 people had to be dragged out of the sea by lifeguards, and last year a crackdown was enforced. Security guards are now in place to stop people bringing any alcohol on to Bondi, Bronte or Tamarama Beach in Sydney, and people are being encouraged to go and do their drinking in licensed areas.
The drinking bans apply to most beaches in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth, and at the risk of sounding like a Daily Mail-reading sourpuss, it is for a good reason. If you do insist on trying it, then be it on your head. It’s technically illegal, but it’s far less rigorously enforced in the places that are less obvious choices.
If you plan to celebrate (with alcohol) in Bondi, then it will either need to be at a friend’s house, a private event at a hotel or at a licensed event at the Bondi Pavilion.
Obviously, when it’s toasty hot outside, the idea of slaving over, or eating, a full Christmas dinner may not be too appealing. The traditional Australian way, of course, is to have a barbie instead.
However, before you rush out and buy enough meat to feed every crocodile in Australia, you will need to get something to cook it on. Getting a decent barbecue is surprisingly inexpensive (you can get a fairly big one at K-Mart for $149), especially if you split it between a few of you. However, if you want to cheat and get something that is clearly not a barbecue, but will do the job (it will be called something like a ‘health grill’), then it will cost even less.
Another alternative is to use a public BBQ, of which there are plenty, especially in beachside parks. It’s simply a case of sticking your money in the slot (almost like a pool table) and then cooking away. However, it is worth bearing in mind that many, many other people will have had the same idea, and you could end up in a large queue, very hungry.
Australia, of course, is quite well geared towards anyone who wants to barbecue things, so you can get away from the rather boring options of sausages and burgers without needing to find a hidden masterchef amongst the group.
If you have a furtive hunting mission around Coles, Woolworths or, even better, a butcher’s shop, you’ll be able to find plenty of interesting options. Prawns are practically obligatory, whilst there are loads of little pre-made kebabs, and even kangaroo steaks if you fancy them.
